I Hate Summer Vacation - So Sue Me!

Today is the last day of school for my two sons.  When I was teaching, I lived and breathed for this day. But now, when my sons ask me if I'm excited for summer, I remain speechless.  Why? Because no matter how well thought-out my ideas for their summer vacation ever are, things just never seem to go as planned.  

They aren't big into camps, but I do insist they pick a couple of weeks of SOMETHING just to get the hell out of the house and not sit in front of the television all day.  We participate in free kids bowling, go away for a few days, plan family outings, take day trips - you name it, I try to get my boys to do it.  

But the summer always ends up one way - my sons bored out of their minds and me going absolutely nuts trying to keep them happy and occupied. 

I can't tell you how many arguments we have ALREADY had over how much summer reading I'm going to expect them to do.  WHY in the world would their teachers tell them summer reading is OPTIONAL?! NO NO NO! I want required reading, not suggested or recommended reading.  What is that crap!?

Just this morning I showed my sons their school registration paperwork.  Among the forms is a contract that states they will read for 30 minutes each day.  I reminded them that they signed this contract. My youngest said I should have told him what he was agreeing to.  I told him he should never sign anything without first reading it.  Touché! 

My oldest, on the other hand, immediately started re-negotiating his contract.  "I'll read 20 minutes every other day - but that's it," he told me.  I told him to take it up with his principal.  

(The contract is for the school year, not summer, but they don't need to know that. I tricked them and will not hesitate to threaten them with a breach-of-contract lawsuit all summer if I have to.)

I recently found the above chart online and figured I might as well give it a try.  I may need to add another condition that they will not be given the daily WiFi password or batteries for the television remotes until the list is completed. That there is power, my friends.  I know what you're thinking. I am the ultimate fun mom! I know, I know - I try.  But, seriously, how do other parents get their kids to do anything?!

Now, excuse me while I go enjoy my last few hours of kid-free peace!