I'm Bringing Sexy Back
If you follow my blog you'll understand why I felt the need to respond to +Joanne Smith 's recent blog post: A Woman's Worth. In her post (which I encourage you to check out) Ms. Smith touches on how the Internet has escalated the notion that a woman's worth is based on her outward appearance. Women and, sadly, girls of all ages are obsessed with sharing selfies and are basing their worth on how many likes the photo gets. Let me share something with those women right now:
It is such a shame that women who practice this public display of being attention whores don't comprehend that they are demoralizing all women and making it that much harder for ANY of us to be taken serious by men and society as a whole. So it is easy for me to be angry with them, but I am also embarrassed for them.
Yet men eat that crap up and then feel like they can treat all women as sex objects. I have an acquaintance on Facebook. She is in her fifties. She is what society would consider a knockout. Tall, slender, large-breasted, and blonde, but I'll remind you - IN. HER. FIFTIES. She actually hires professional photographers to take pictures of her in lingerie, the bath tub, leather get-ups etc. and then posts them on her wall. It is actually quite comical to then sit back and watch how all the dogs comment on how hot she makes them. Ewwwww!
I mean really?? I expect this vain, superficial behavior from twenty-year-old women, not 50-somethings. I mean there are some attributes of hers I wouldn't mind having, but not at the expense of my intelligence, personality, wit, and humor (and, apparently, modesty - LOL) -not my ass, although it happens to be a fine ass!
Being sexy is one thing I think all people (especially women) strive for. But sexy is not the same thing - it is NOT what +Joanne Smith and I are talking about. Portraying yourself as a sex object is the exact opposite, in fact. True sexiness is subtle and mysterious. Not "don't you like my boobs?"
Ok, I have probably ranted long enough. But just one more thing before I go:
To the men whose virtual drool I have to wipe off my computer screen just from their comments on such posts, you realize that these women you're falling over wouldn't give you the time of day. And the smart, amazing and attractive women that would have otherwise taken notice of you, are instead just laughing at your behavior. Just thought you'd want to know the truth.
*******************************************************************
This blog post was in response to +Joanne Smith 's post A Woman's Worth - check it out!
Well, I believe the 'actual' problem is not with girls or women reducing themselves to a sexy something or 50 year olds that are still trying to show off. Both things are related of course. The young girls are being manipulated and misguided by society's shallow perceptions of beauty into believing that outward appearance and 'sexiness' are a means to being accepted, that self-worth is boosted accordingly if enough 'men' react to them in the desired fashion. But is that reaction, gloating men, really what they wanted to achieve? I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteWe turn on the TV.. beautiful people lead, of course, perfect lives. How could it be any different than that? We look at magazine covers. Slender women with perfect skin, perfect teeth, perfect, flowing hair. Of course that ah so natural smile they have is somehow 'glued' in place. How could it be surprising?
The 50 year old woman, having photographs of herself taken in such poses. Wow, that is how I want to look like when I'm her age, the 20somethings think. She's perfect, elegant and above all else. She's confident and self-aware.
This is where it all takes a wrong turn. She may be confident, certainly. But not in terms of self-worth, not in terms of individuality as opposed to conformity. Though such pictures can look nice, maybe even classy, the sadness looking at them is overwhelming. The 50yo still looks at society for approval. Still seeks the quick and elaborate reaction from a not so choosy clientele. Women her age or younger that are not as, as of course they think, attractive and desirable but gifted with a more natural appearance and a totally different form of beauty, try to act as she did. Changing the very nature of who they are, giving in to the standards of society that they think cannot be changed. Or it goes the other way. Perfectly beautiful and nice girls and women can't see their own self-worth anymore cos those 'blessed' (?) women are setting the standard they can never reach, never hope to meet? That's nonsense.
Some women feel bloated and ugly and refuse to leave the house on one of 'those' days. Society will judge me, they will all look at me with disgust, or worse, pity. Such nonsense! For they are the ones that represent true beauty. Working and caring and motivating people around them day in, day out. Even on a bad hair day, even with their bloated premenstrual bodies.
We're a society gone mad with appearances. With illusions. We strive for conformity and in this conformity, we think, we find room to express our individuality. That is so backwards. As much as these perfectly normal ( since when is the word normal a curse, btw? ) women are just that, individual beauties, some girls or women who still struggle with self-worth issues or are merely expressing their personalities openly are not necessarily attention whores. Some are just confident and don't think much of it. Is it our intention to have a generation of wallflower beauties, dressing in a modest fashion ( what's that anyway?), never discovering their true potential as an individual? Conforming to more traditional values to escape the derogatory effects of that other conformity, the need to compete amongst each other? That is weird.
As a man I can say, I will never judge either group of women. Instead, I want you to listen to those inner voices of reason and common sense. If it feels wrong to you to act or dress or talk or feel. Don't do it, just because the women around you do it. If you like to wear your green stockings with a red shirt and yellow pants because you love it. Do it ! Every woman is beautiful. You don't need big boobs or slutty postures to be seen. Your beauty is in your smiles, in your eyes, in your hearts. Go out there. On a bad hair day, bloated as you feel, in your red shirt and green shoes... and just smile at people passing by. Be yourselves. That is beauty.... You'll see.
I do believe you have hijacked my blog! LOL, thanks for reading and the very insightful comment.
DeleteThis was very interesting well said....
ReplyDeleteThanks and thank you for stopping by and reading!
DeleteYou know what is funny I + more selfies of men than I do women. Of course I hang out in all the bodybuilding forums and we for the most part post progress pictures. My wife was wondering aloud the other day if I was turning gay. Of course I place a lot of +s on women's selfies too. I have no dog in the fight over self image and things like that, because I think all people are beautiful. You are spot on about self worth but I think the problem is far less the selfies themselves and far more the problem that women of all ages are so willing to take the easy way to getting a + or a like. It's probably why most of my female friends on social media tend to be foreign. Artists, writers and such. I usually don't know what they even look like until well after I have followed them for their writing or their art.
ReplyDeleteI get the whole bodybuilding thing. As you know my workout board on Pinterest is full of really fit women - but that's different definitely. It isn't even the "normal" selfies that I am referring to, but rather the enormous number of women (and, sadly,underage girls) who are posting pics of themselves with little to nothing on, ya know? As always, thanks for reading and commenting.
Delete