A Final Goodbye

A high school friend of mine died recently.  On July 13, to be exact, a date I'll never forget.  It was a sudden and unexpected departure from our world and certainly one that hit all of us that knew him hard.  Classmates from 25+ years ago are having a memorial for him this coming Friday, and while it is out of state and I will not be in attendance, I was asked to write something that could be read at the service.

I put it off, and, frankly, wasn't planning on submitting anything.  I mean, don't misunderstand, the deceased was a dear friend of mine in those high school years, but my pain, my grief, is a very intimate feeling and, honestly, in the back of my mind, I fear what those hearing my words will think. 

Will my thoughts make sense? Will they be "deep" enough, whatever that means?  And, heaven forbid - will my words offend anyone? 

So, I figured I'd keep it short and simple.  Right?  I won't say what I really feel because what I really feel is deep anger.  Anger that one of the most vibrant, positive people I have ever known was taken from us too soon.  I'm angry that his disease wasn't caught sooner and that, with a 98% recovery rate, his went wrong.  Mainly, I'm angry because it could have been me.  There, I said it.  It could have been me.  I wonder if I would be as brave as he was.  If there would be an outpouring of emotions from those I know.  Have I done enough in my life to have that kind of impact on people?  I wonder.....

Therefore, my vow to myself in his memory is to live a more optimistic life, to get out there and try new things, to meet as many people as I can and to influence their lives positively.  And, maybe, just maybe he'll be watching over me and encouraging me like he did back in high school.

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The following was read on my behalf last night at the memorial.  Love you, Eddie!

Eddie was truly a light in this ever dimming world. He would often make me batty in high school with his high energy and optimism.  But, yet, who didn't love him and his enthusiasm?

In his final days, people were saying how brave Eddie was and how he has taught us how to die, on one's own terms and completely surrounded by those that loved and cared for us.  But, I'd like to think that Eddie taught us much more than that - he taught us how to live.

Eddie, thanks for being my friend and for encouraging me during our high school days.  I am grateful that we were able to re-connect in recent years. Sing on, my friend!  I know the angels will appreciate your song.